It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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