I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
