i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
