stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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