Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i came on her dog
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
