found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
