He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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