i barfeds in our rink
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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