So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
