birth control should be required to get into college
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No...this little piggys going to the bar
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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