their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
