I didn't shave. On purpose
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
