Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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