you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
