Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
