the day after is always just damage control
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my nose is crying tears of wow.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
the raccoons are back...
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