I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
