Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
