As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
