Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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