I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
