just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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