you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
