I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I lost the right to judge tonight
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
