3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
two words: eviction party
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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