the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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