He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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