He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
