How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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