He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
3pm strippers are depressing
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
