yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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