tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
