This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
