On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
