my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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