you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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