accomplished twins. life is a go
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
