Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
