I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
