I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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