'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize