oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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