i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
