My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
