I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
