Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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