I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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