i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
