I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
