You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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