pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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