in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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