We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
