im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
