we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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