That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
