that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
