would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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