Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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