Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
