he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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