i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
