Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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