So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
