My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize