he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
