I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
