So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
